Bad Laws Beget Bad People

With all of the crime rampant in North America, an article about a crime that’s not yet on the books -- tobacco use -- must seem odd to some readers.

It's important to remember that a lot of very nasty crime we now endure is a spin-off from bad, short-sighted laws. These laws are often enacted in response to public outrage. The outrage is often driven by special interest groups to stimulate broad support for their points of view. Other such laws, of course, come about as knee-jerk political responses to sensational, horrific, and sometimes isolated incidents.

But, if we're going to enact bad laws forcing people to protect themselves from themselves, let's look at some other potentials.

We could criminalize obesity. Anyone diagnosed as medically obese could be given jail time for ordering a super-sized meal. For their own good they could be put on a strict diet in jail and not be released until they've lost X number of pounds, the number to be spelled out in legislation according to height, age, genetic profile, and whatever else lobbyists may decide is appropriate.

We should probably criminalize skin cancer too. Canadian writer Lawrence Scanlan recently reported that throughout the world "one in three cancers are skin-related," better overall than in the U.S., where the rate is one in two. I suspect there's a lot of anti-smoking zealots lying about in tanning salons (a $5 billion annual business in the U.S.) plotting how to ban smoking, and maybe to ensure there's enough money in the health pot to treat their future melanomas.

On another note, perhaps people with a masochist bent should look at public transit bus driving as a career. Drivers have excellent opportunities to be verbally abused, spit upon, gnawed, beaten up, or targetted for tossed objects. Best locations? In Canada, Winnipeg and Ottawa are prime spots.

Even sadists are beginning to feel the sharp edge of the law. Recently a man was charged with possession of a dangerous weapon after being videotaped filing his dentures to points.

Expect a new survey questionnaire soon and a piece (or series) focused to the results of the current one. Don't forget to vote.

Finally, do keep a sharp eye for bad laws and stupid crimes and let me know about them. They lighten the darkness of the underworld. Sometimes.